Nathan's Child Read online

  Carin stared at her. “When did you see Nathan?”

  “Saw him yesterday afternoon. Him an’ Lacey came by to talk to my dad after they went fishing. Oh, you mean about workin’? Didn’t see him. He called last night. Said you had a big show in New York an’ you needed more time to paint. I was that happy, I can tell you!”

  “Ah.” Carin hesitated. “Um.”

  “What you want me to do? Want me to dust? If your cash register is like The Grouper’s I won’t have any problems with that.” Elaine was so eager that Carin couldn’t simply say, There’s been a mistake. Go home.

  But there had definitely been a mistake! And Nathan Wolfe had made it! How dared he?

  “Just…yes, here.” Carin thrust the duster in Elaine’s hand. “I need to make a phone call. I’ll be right back.”

  There was a phone by the register, but Carin went to the one in the back room. She punched out the number of Nathan’s cell phone, which he’d given her yesterday. She’d been sure she would never need it. She was wrong.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” she demanded when he answered.

  “Ah, Elaine arrived.”

  “Yes, damn it, she arrived! And you’re just going to have to get down here and tell her you’ve made a mistake and she has to go home. And you’d better hope she hasn’t given notice at The Grouper!”

  “I gave it for her. Stopped in this morning when Lacey and I were on our way to the library.”

  “What!” Carin was outraged. “You had no right!”

  “Elaine asked me to. And you need time to paint. You said so,” he reminded her.

  “That doesn’t mean you’re supposed to hire someone to work for me! I can’t afford—”

  “I’m paying her.”

  “No!”

  “Well, she’s not going to work for nothing.”

  “You’re not hiring my help! You presumptuous bastard! You—”

  “Stop shouting in my ear. Ms. Gibbs can probably hear you all the way across the room. This is a library, you know.”

  “I don’t want—”

  “You don’t want me here. That’s the bottom line. Too bad. I’m staying. And I’m trying to make life a little easier for you.”

  “Then leave,” Carin muttered.

  “Look, Carin, I know you don’t think much of me. So be it. You never gave me a chance. You shut me out. Well, now I’m back. And like it or not, you’re stuck with me.”

  “That doesn’t mean—”

  “It means I’m taking an interest in Lacey’s life. Lacey’s life involves you. You’ve got a terrific opportunity here. I’m trying to give you a chance to benefit from it. I’ll keep Lacey during the days so you won’t have to worry about her. Elaine will take care of the shop. And you can paint.”

  Carin’s jaw tightened. He was so reasonable. He was so right, damn it! “You can’t pay her.”

  “We’ll discuss it later. Go paint.”

  “I—”

  But there was just dead air. He’d hung up.

  Damn it! Carin fumed, she paced, she fussed. She didn’t want to be beholden to Nathan Wolfe. She didn’t want him running her life.

  But it was true, what he’d said—this gallery show was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity—and Stacia did want more paintings. In fact, she’d called this morning to see how Carin was coming on them.

  “Good,” Carin had said, which was only a small lie. “Moving right along.”

  “Wonderful. Glad to hear it. When will you be finished?”

  “I’m not sure yet. Can I call you in a week or so?”

  “A week?” Stacia sounded worried. “I’m going to be out of the city for a few days. How about I call you when I get back? I’ll need to come down so we can pack them up for shipping.”

  Ordinarily Stacia wouldn’t be bothered doing any such thing. It was outside the realm of her job. But she was sure Carin had enormous sales potential.

  “You’re a phenom ready to be discovered,” was what she’d said. And she was pulling out all the stops to make sure it happened—even going so far as to say she would come to the island herself and make sure that the paintings were packed and shipped properly since there was no “pack and ship” on Pelican Cay.

  Stacia had a lot invested in her in terms of time and effort and expense. Of course, she stood to get plenty in return if Carin was the success Stacia thought she would be.

  But that meant Carin had to come through with enough work to make mounting the show worthwhile. And that meant she should have hired an Elaine weeks ago, but she hadn’t had the money to do so.

  Now Nathan was taking Lacey and offering to pay Elaine.

  “I can pay him back,” Carin said aloud now.

  “You talkin’ to me?” Elaine called from the front of the shop.

  Carin took a breath. “No. I was talking to Nathan.” She would pay him back. And he wouldn’t be able to stop her. “Here,” she said to Elaine. “Let me show you the ropes.”

  Elaine learned things quickly. By ten Carin felt she could leave her on her own in the shop, giving her the admonition to call if she needed anything.

  Elaine shook her head. “Nathan said not to bother you.”

  Carin narrowed her gaze on the young woman. “Call me,” she said. “Or I’ll fire you.”

  Elaine flashed a broad grin. “Well, when you put it like that…”

  Carin went home. Zeno, hoping for a snack, tagged along after her. She gave him a bit of ham and left him sitting on the porch. Then, somewhere between fierce and furious, she headed for the studio to tackle her work.

  Lacey couldn’t have been happier.

  As the days passed and she went fishing with her father or shot photos with her father or just walked on the beach and talked to her father, she couldn’t have had a better summer.

  Carin couldn’t have been more of a wreck. Of course she was happy that Lacey was forming bonds with her father. But for herself, as she heard daily the tales of Nathan and Lacey fishing, helping move books at the library, taking photos in the cemetery or going swimming or snorkeling, Carin felt bereft.

  She felt hollow. Lonely.

  And she couldn’t help thinking about what it would have been like if they could have done these things together as a family—the three of them.

  That was stupid, of course. If they had been a family, Nathan would never have been able to do what he’d done. He wouldn’t have been able to pursue his dreams, find his path, focus on his goals. He would have grown to resent her—and their child.

  Too, if she’d announced she was pregnant with his child, she would have caused a huge rift between him and Dominic. Lacey talked a lot about her dad and his brothers when they were growing up. She loved to recount the “Nathan and Dominic and Rhys stories” that her father told her. It was clear they loved and respected each other. And there was no way Carin would have wanted to come between them.

  So it was just as well she’d kept her mouth shut. Just as well she’d accepted her fate—and there was no sense in bemoaning the fact that they had no memories together.

  But you could have now, some niggling little inner voice kept telling her. You could have said yes when Nathan asked you to marry him.

  But she was selfish. She didn’t want Nathan marrying her out of duty. In her heart she was still a romantic. She wanted to marry for love.

  She was thinking about this when Hugh stopped by on Friday after work. He stuck his head in the studio and asked, “How’s it going?”

  And Carin said wearily, “It isn’t,” because thinking about Nathan had depressed her and she hadn’t been able to paint much for the last half hour. She decided to take a ten-minute break and have a cup of tea before sending Hugh on his way.

  Now he was leaning against the kitchen counter with a bottle of beer in his hand. watching her sympathetically as she paced and muttered. “I don’t know how I’m going to get this done.”

  “You’re trying too hard. You need to relax. Come out to dinn
er with me.”

  “I can’t. I’ve got to work. But every time I try I start to think. And then I stop working. I don’t know what to do!”

  “Kiss me.”

  “What?” She stared at him as if he’d lost his mind.

  “Kiss me,” Hugh said. “Now.” He set the beer on the counter, took two steps across the room and hauled her into his arms.

  Carin was so amazed she let him. She wrapped her arms around him to keep her balance, and was the recipient of a deep hungry kiss.

  “Hard at work, I see,” a voice drawled from the front porch. “Don’t let me interrupt.”

  Carin froze at the sound. But Hugh took his time finishing the kiss before he drew back and looked over Carin’s shoulder at Nathan.

  “Not a problem. We can continue later,” he said smugly. “Looking for Lacey?”

  “As a matter of fact, I’m not. I’m looking for her mother. I came to see if you—” he looked pointedly at Carin and not at Hugh “—wanted to join us for dinner, seeing as how you’ve been working so hard all day.” Scorn positively dripped. “Figured I’d give you a ride over. Lacey thought it might save you a little time if you didn’t have to cook. Give you more time to paint.” His gaze narrowed and his tone became even more scathing. “But I see you’ve got other, more important things to do.”

  Carin flushed guiltily and was annoyed that she was reacting at all. It wasn’t his business what she was doing! Or with whom.

  “Hugh stopped by after work and I took a few minutes’ break,” she began.

  “You don’t owe me any explanations.”

  “You’re damned right I don’t!”

  “So don’t waste your breath. Are you coming with me for dinner or are you going to be too busy going to bed with lover boy?”

  “Now there’s a thought.” Hugh grinned.

  Carin glared at him, then at Nathan. “I’m going to paint, damn it. So you can both just get out of here now.”

  Hugh sighed. “Ah, well, I can wait,” he said easily, then bent his head and dropped a light kiss on her lips. He winked as he sauntered out the door past Nathan and down the steps. “See you later, sweetheart.”

  Nathan didn’t budge. “So, sweetheart, are you coming or not?”

  “Not,” Carin said. “I need to work.”

  Nathan regarded her through narrowed eyes. “You’d better work,” he said. “You’d better be painting your sweet little heart out.”

  As Carin watched, he turned on his heel and stomped down the steps. At the bottom of the steps he turned and looked back up at her. “I’ll have Lacey home at nine. So whatever you and lover boy get up to in the meantime, you be sure to be painting by then. Fair warning.”

  As he drove away, Carin stuck her tongue out at him.

  Dominic called to see how it was going.

  “It’s not,” Nathan said testily.

  Rhys called to offer advice.

  “It’s not the same as with you and Mariah,” Nathan said with all the patience he could muster. “Mariah told you when she was pregnant. She wanted you to be part of Lizzie and Stephen’s life.”

  Obviously, his brothers talked to their father. Next thing Nathan knew the old man was on the phone.

  “What do you want?” Nathan growled.

  “Nothing,” Douglas said airily. “Just called to shoot the breeze.”

  “Uh-huh.” And pigs could fly. “And you’re not going to ask about my love life?”

  “Don’t have to, do I?” Douglas said. “I think it’s pretty clear from your tone that you don’t have one.”

  Nathan ground his teeth.

  “Sure you don’t want me to come down and lend a hand?”

  “Yes, damn it, I’m sure. And no, damn it, I don’t!”

  “Giving you a hard time, is she?” Douglas said, sounding almost sympathetic.

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  He knew what he was doing. He hoped. Besides, for the moment progress on the Carin front was at a standstill. There was nothing to talk about. She was painting—or so she said. And he was spending the days with Lacey.

  He and Carin talked stiltedly when he picked Lacey up or dropped her off. Occasionally Hugh was there when Nathan brought her home.

  “Helping you paint, is he?” Nathan found himself snarling more than once.

  She didn’t answer. It was hard to pick a fight with someone who ignored your provocation. And she did seem pretty paint-spattered much of the time, so he didn’t have much of a leg to stand on.

  Still, having to leave Lacey there with her mother and Hugh didn’t make for restful evenings.

  Actually, it made Nathan nuts. He took to going to The Grouper after he dropped Lacey off. There was sure as hell no point in going back to his place. All he’d do there would be to pace the floor and mutter things about Hugh McGillivray’s maternal ancestry. Knocking back a beer or two or three with the locals was a much better idea.

  At least, though his relationship with Carin was nonexistent, he and Lacey were getting on like a house afire.

  He spent most days with Lacey. The day after the dinner at his house, they’d helped Miss Gibbs move library books. Then they’d gone back to his place and had begun to look at slides and talk photography. They did that now almost every day. She was smart as a whip and she had a good sense of composition. When he explained something, she asked questions, and she got the point.

  Every day he spent with her, he learned more about her—and her mother—and felt twin twinges of anger and sadness that he hadn’t had a part in her life until now. He blamed Carin. Sometimes he wanted to throttle Carin.

  But if he was honest, he understood why she hadn’t told him.

  He’d been so focused in those days. He knew he was going to be a photographer, knew in his gut he could do it. But he also knew how much it would demand of him, how hard the work would be, how single-minded he’d have to be.

  Fighting his father’s determination that he go into the family business had been nothing compared to the obstacles he’d had to overcome to get where he was. He hadn’t needed more obstacles.

  Carin had known that.

  It wasn’t easy looking in the mirror when he thought about how self-absorbed he’d been.

  He wasn’t self-absorbed now. He wasn’t single-minded. Gaby, his agent, was calling him every few days making offers and suggesting ideas—all of which would mean traveling—and every time, Nathan said no.

  “I’m staying put,” he told Gaby.

  He was enjoying his time with Lacey. He was opening up the world to her. And she was opening up a particular small slice of it for him.

  She was an eager student. She always wanted to take photos. Every day, no matter what else they did, they spent time doing that. At first he just let her take photos that interested her. But after a few days of that, he suggested she start looking for specific things. Patterns, themes, specific subject matter.

  They shot trees, they shot flowers, they shot buildings and birds and kids and fishermen. They shot old men at work and playing dominoes under the shade trees.

  Sometimes they picked a topic—heat, water, happiness, symmetry—and spent the day shooting whatever they saw that expressed it.

  In the evenings they developed the black-and-white film together. They took the slides to Deveril’s, which had an overnight developing facility, then spent the next morning comparing the differences and similarities in the way they viewed things.

  It was as instructive for Nathan as he hoped it was for Lacey.

  He was fascinated to discover what interested her, to learn more about the way she looked at the world. And she rose to every challenge he offered, focusing on it, thinking about it, trying to see what she could bring to it that would be something he hadn’t thought of. Sometimes she wanted it too much, tried too hard.

  “Don’t push it,” he advised her. “It’s about vision and about potential, but it’s mostly about patience. You’ve just got to be there. The op
portunity will come.”

  It was true in photography. Great photos came to those who were prepared, who knew what they were doing and were prepared to wait.

  And as the days went by and nothing seemed to happen, he hoped to God it was true in life—in his life—with Carin.

  His theory, which was not at all the theory subscribed to by his father or even by Dominic, for that matter, was that showing up and sticking around were half the battle.

  “It’s all about opportunity,” he told himself, just as he’d told Lacey about photography.

  But as one week went by and then another, he didn’t see any opportunities.

  Lacey did her best to try to throw them together. It was no secret their daughter wanted them together, even though she never said so outright.

  “Don’t push,” Nathan advised her when she was trying to get her mother to come to dinner with them one night. “It doesn’t do any good. She might show up because you asked her to, but it won’t be because she wants to.”

  “I know, but—”

  “And she’ll go home irritated and more resistant than ever.”

  “Maybe, but—”

  “So we’ll just cool it,” Nathan counseled. And tried to take his own advice.

  But as the days passed, it got harder and harder to simply bide his time.

  As the days passed Carin thought Nathan would get bored, get fed up, get antsy, be ready to leave.

  Instead he stuck around.

  Not only did he stick around, but he and Lacey bonded completely. They fished and swam and wandered all over the island, according to what her glowing daughter told her every evening. He listened to her and talked to her. He took her seriously. As far as Lacey was concerned, she could not have a better father.

  “I wish he’d been here before,” she said more than once. “He wishes he had been here before, too.”

  Carin tried to take that with equanimity. “Really? Did he say so?”

  “No. ’Cause he’s too polite. But I know he feels that way. I can just tell.”

  Which, of course, made Carin the bad guy of the piece. Good old Nathan wasn’t even complaining because she’d done him out of twelve years of their daughter’s life. Perversely it made her angry.